Social Media: Warriors of the Pandemic

Recognizing those who fought to keep us informed and keep us together under lockdown, even when they had no idea what they were talking about.

I spent a good chunk of 2020 (and most of 2021 so far) complaining about things and arguing with people on social media.

You’re welcome.

But I know I’m not alone, so I’d like to take a moment to recognize those other warriors who have fought alongside me (and in many cases against me), raised their voices in defiance (and ignorance), and kept me (and I suspect many others) from succumbing to the void of boredom and paranoia that comes with being stuck alone in your apartment for extended periods of time.

To the conspiracy theorists,

When the news just wasn’t exciting enough, you were there.

When the truth just wasn’t true enough, you were there.

You turned events as mundane as the rollout of new cellular phone technology into a James Bond-level plot (in a year when a promised new 007 flick kept getting yanked away from us at the very last second, no less!)

You made us believe in the impossible, if only for a fleeting second.

Sure, you helped perpetuate a pattern of racism and bigotry that you somehow managed to remain blissfully unaware of. Yes, you followed the stunted ravings of a childlike sociopath into the pages of historical infamy.

And possibly most unforgivably of all, you have ruined. Pizza. Forever.

But, watching your predictions become proven false time and time again has been

so

entertaining.

And I’m truly sorry for that.

I know it’s been hard, fighting to expose a truth that just refuses to be true, but I also know that you are stalwart and steadfast, and that no amount of disproven conspiracy theories will prevent you from buying into the next one.

Your comedic levels of stubbornness have been the sole bright spot during an otherwise dark and trying time.

To the meme lords,

First, let me say that my level of gratitude to you is deeper than Jason Statham had to go to find a shark worthy of being stabbed in the eye by him. (Sorry, spoilers.)

You’ve helped me rediscover Bernie Sanders over and over again.

You helped take an amusing schlock documentary about animal abuse (let’s be real here) and turn it into a cultural moment, one that has gone so far as to inspire the reopening of a long-cold investigation into one of the more outlandish murder legends of our time.

Not every meme was good, and some of you shared stuff that helped convince conspiracy theorists to do stupid things.

Also, some of you weren’t even real.

But the true and sincere among you stood out, and your dank meme stash has been the sole bright spot during an otherwise dark and trying time.

To the racists, the nationalists, the white supremacists, and all the other haters of other people for stupid reasons,

You guys suck. Fuck off.

That being said, watching videos of your crowd getting roughed up, parodied, and otherwise generally ridiculed has been the sole bright spot during an otherwise dark and trying time.

To the people who’ve actually been hitting the streets, working the jobs, and keeping this ship moving despite the very real and overwhelming danger to your own safety as well as to your families and loved ones,

Thank you.

You have no idea.

Thank you so much.

To the rest of you just trying to keep calm, maintain composure, and make sense of it all,

Me too.

In fact, that’s all of us.

And even though we may have come close quite a few times, we haven’t dropped the ball yet.

If you’re reading this, then you’re still here. You’re still in it.

You’re still alive.

The battle’s not over, but you’ve made it this far. Keep going warrior. Maybe I know you, maybe I don’t, but I want you to succeed, because seeing people continue to succeed despite overwhelming odds against them has been the sole bright spot during an otherwise dark and trying time.